My Great-Grandmother In College #2: Two Short Crushes

Throughout Mata’s diaries from when she was a young woman, she seemed to be almost constantly lovelorn. Her failed romances tortured her emotionally and sometimes made her write very dramatically. For this article, I’ll track two short crushes Mata had while she was in her last year at the University of Wisconsin. Beginning in March 1914, she had developed a crush on what appears to be one of her teachers, a certain Dr. Newman (sometimes spelled “Newmann”). These are the first few mentions of him in the 1914 diary:

Mar. 5: “My quiz man—oh that honestly I don’t like him, just cause Newmann is just great etc. I didn’t know one word—he not having my name, loved me. Lab was a peach—why astonished was I Huh!!! when Newmann came to me + said [“]Miss Hartung—how are you getting along?[“] and proceeded to help me more than my share. Why he was one dear—just too grand for nothing—why even said my “agar” was fine when he had concocted it. Ha! Ha! He fixed all my test tubes + did about 5 a minute while I did one. He convinced me against using a glass tube in plugging + showed me with such pains how to do it—again he is a dear + the best looker I ever saw in my life. Just that faint color when he talks to you—+ such a gentleman…and just too nice. He just did more for me than I can tell about. Wonder if it’ll happen again. I pray that my presence was not one that will cause him to leave me alone now. Well let’s see.”

Mar. 10: “I saw surely my old self again for today I worked from 8 until 6. Mr. Morgan was back again, slightly limping. Mr. Newmann lecture[d] to us at 9 on cultures. Such a bundle of animation—why, ones mind cannot reside but I must go ever with that wonderful personality. Again he is our man in laboratory. He gives us instructings [sic.] as to making of cultures but my mind is so dull in a scientific way that I can’t grasp it until I just ponder—It was almost 11—I had my whole outfit in readiness but I got saturated with the points of procedure methods it was dinner time. Mr. Newmann + I were much interested in social work. He saw my phamphlet [pamphlet] [on the] conservation of Nat. Vitality on my desk so he asked me if I were taking Social Problems—He is spending much time in reading—on Christianity , Buddhism, Moh. Etc.—how interesting. He had taken a course in Prof. James’ course 14 years ago—I unconsciously surprisingly flattered him, by saying “14 years ago—impossible!!!![“] He laughed, for really he is just awfully young too—so was my doctor. He took down the name of my phamplet [sic.] + Ross’s “Changing America” to read. May that former phamplet [sic.] prove to be reading that will appeal to him—for in such a magnetic manly man it will be digested only to [be] absorbed + cultivated so as to make it applicable toward the social good + betterment.”

An undated photo of Mata as a young woman, c. 1910-1915

But, then something went wrong, triggering a very dramatic Mata to spill her heart out onto the pages of her diary, and coming to a broader conclusion about herself in the process:

Mar. 17: “Why even today Mr. N. never even smiled say nothing about that—why never even noticed me—just completely ignored my presence. And to think that Mr. N. was so good to me at first—Oh! why is he there—why do I like him—yes—just why? He doesn’t or never will think of or speak to me now again—and it may be best—I guess there is a reason as to why I’m always domed [doomed] to disappointments—And here my father revealed his poor business way of treating me. Never openly—always in that half way—Nothing substantial—no confidential treatment. Enuf—I can’t write this—those feelings I’ll never forget—Joy—future promise of having a “good time” once in my life—gone—In the future I may or may not plan again. Hereafter my must get frankness, openess [sic.]—and I myself must talk less—Measure your words—and think more. You feel like a mummy doin’ it but I guess part of it is all right.”

The next day’s entry is a very enlightening one with a lot of important information. Not only do we learn about another crush she had the year before, but we can also see her transition from one crush to another. Her feelings for Newman quickly dissipated after a brief 2-week infatuation. And this also comes with a twist:

Mar. 18: “Met Holohan on the hill this noon + walked a[s] far as College Bk. Store. On my way back whom do you suppose I met—well some one I like pretty well—I’ve gone back on N. (This is a countryfied [sic.] dutchy expression but nevertheless a good appropriate one[)] It was Dr. Middleton—I haven’t written that good sounding title for quite a while—He looked up at me in the usual same way—and greeted me with his ‘How do you do’—and that smile that isn’t there then just before he speaks appears—He seems to look older and just a tiny, tiny bit fleshier in his face. I guess it only appeared so—Dear I wish I were a friend of his… Mr. N. will be to me no more and I am not missing my guess. It’ll be an unbounded surprise if he ever speaks to me again. Oh! poison is ‘worry to the conscience.’ I must not take to heart those who care absolutely nothing for me. Yes last yr. it was MacDonald—well—he was nice—but really now I couldn’t like him as I did then cause of these others and so it will be again in later years.”

Another undated photo of Mata as a young woman, taken on the same day as the previous
photo, c. 1910-1915

If you read the previous article, you’ll know all about how Mata underwent a stomach pump with no anesthetic to treat a lump in her stomach and her subsequent recovery. The doctor who performed the procedure was none other than the same Dr. Middleton she mentioned in the last entry. Her crush on Dr. Middleton seemed to be more serious and there doesn’t seem to be a falling-out like there was with Newman. Now, let’s track some of her mentions of Dr. Middleton:

Apr. 4: “Saw Dr. M. from a distance too bad I didn’t meet him—Gee! I like the man”

Apr. 11: “Met. Dr. M. but he at least I think so, didn’t see me—He was with a man + some saucy looking girl. Gee, whiz!!!!”

Apr. 22: “On our way to supper who should be waiting for the car but Dr. M. + another man—I know he saw me coming for he watched me and I immediately recognized him. Just crossing to the mail box where he stood. Gy. swiped my hat + I in the cold window. Apparently it had amused Doc, for he had that smile enlarged when I came up to him + How—do—you do—as usual was exchanged—I looked back when I went into house + he + the other were watching us until we entered the house. And how we did run down the street. So after 2 P.M. was worth the space.”

Apr. 23: “oh! I don’t see why I ever up my ideal I’ve taken it all back Dr. M. is the only one after all worthwhile”

May 25: Must get a report from Dr. Middleton verifying my health etc. Just delighted to see him? but wonder how he will act. Let’s not consider this until I see him though.”

May 29: “While there I phone to Dr. M. I go home bathe + at 4:10 go + make my appointment there. When he came in—he said—as usual [‘]How do you do? Well what is the trouble Miss Hartung?[‘] I explained the situation to him—just as it was frankly. He wrote to Tressler + handed me the note sealed. Yes, there he stood—ok! why can I see in that man what I like—why. could psy—answers that. 10 of him to one J.X. I only wish I wouldn’t have that feeling—[Aside:] [(]Ask me how I got along on my work—How my health was[)] for I know well enuf that it is pure love and affection for that man. He has no interest in me only as a medical advisor bears to a student—why should he. Why couldn’t it be otherwise—that’s were [where] miracle applies—But may a day come when he shall come + I come—or else goes in to oblivion”

This quickly changed, however, when Mata realized that all of the feelings, all of the signals she thought she might have been picking up on, were all in her head. About a week later, on, she wrote:

June 5: “There are a few whom I should wished to have been intimate contact with—yes but very few for example Dr. M. + that red checked, tall[,] dark man, handsome only does him part justice. He, I could have loved—+ more too. He was only another of my idyllic personages who slip into oblivion. I think about them—but not they. I wish I could have spoken to him again. when placed beside J.X. he falls into space, unthought of. Once he was just O.K. I hardly see why that man took such hold of me. I see nothing now. Why? because his interest in me existed only in my thought. I was nothing I his idea. Never a part of it. Badger out.”

While this probably should have been the end of it, Mata couldn’t quite make her feelings for him go away. It didn’t help that she was graduating from the University of Wisconsin and would likely have to move away to find a job. A few months later, she wrote a brief note about Dr. Middleton

October 9: “A drop in at Dr. Soik’s office. And strange to say that prefix doctor makes me think Dr. M. so hard. Wonder if he ever remembers his odd patient.”

A little over a month later, her old feelings cropped up again, seeming a bit stronger this time:

November 17: “All evening Dr. M. haunted my mind. Does he ever ever think of me?”

Mata continued to briefly mention Dr. Middleton once in a while into 1915. I had known of her crush on him for years now ever since I had first transcribed her diaries. However, it was only during the course of writing this article that I made an incredible discovery. In the last entry of her 1914 diary, she wrote:

Dec. 31: “Last night I dreamed of Dr. M. Today I pick up the Jan. 1915 Outlook mag. + there is an article by Dr. Wm S. Middleton, Medical Advisor so he has that which he rightly deserves, that man whom I hold as one of my fellow men for whom I would do all and everything. That young doctor and his brilliant mind have brought him to a responsible place. Yes he is there—back in the Wis. U. Each day I see him ready to see the many who need medical advice. He always was just as capable of meeting one at 5 as at 1. May his be a success—and if only I—Well, that is something I must forbear. Perhaps if he knew—and you know there may be a ‘someday.’ That mag. I must buy. It contains that article of vital interest to me.”

Only in that entry did she write his first name, and, as a bonus, a middle initial. I searched the web for that magazine article, but came up empty. I believed the magazine in question to be “The Outlook,” but it had weekly issues instead of monthly and there was no mention of any Dr. Middleton. While I have still not found the magazine in question, I found out just who this Dr. William Shainline Middleton was. He was kind of a big deal, and he’s famous enough to have a Wikipedia page. If there was any doubt about Dr. M. being the same as Dr. William Shainline Middleton, it disappeared when I read that he worked as clinical instructor of medicine at the University of Wisconsin at the same time, specialized in internal medicine, and even came up with a novel way of examining a patient’s spleen called “Middleton’s Maneuver.” Dr. Middleton not only served overseas as a medical officer in WWI, he was also an important figure in the medical care of American soldier on the European front in WWII and was involved in veterans’ medical care for decades. Two big facilities in Madison, Wisconsin bear his name: the William S. Middleton Memorial Veterans Administration Hospital and the William S. Middleton Health Sciences Library at the University of Wisconsin. But Mata knew him when he was only a 24-year old doctor at the university.

Although it’s not a completely clear photo of his face, this 1918 photo of Dr.
Middleton gives a hint as to how Mata developed a crush on him, especially
considering how nice he was to her

And with that, two crushes in one year came and went. When we next see Mata, she will be a college graduate in the all-too-familiar rut of being stuck at home and not being able to find a job.