My Great-Grandmother In College #2: Two Short Crushes

Throughout Mata’s diaries from when she was a young woman, she seemed to be almost constantly lovelorn. Her failed romances tortured her emotionally and sometimes made her write very dramatically. For this article, I’ll track two short crushes Mata had while she was in her last year at the University of Wisconsin. Beginning in March 1914, she had developed a crush on what appears to be one of her teachers, a certain Dr. Newman (sometimes spelled “Newmann”). These are the first few mentions of him in the 1914 diary:

Mar. 5: “My quiz man—oh that honestly I don’t like him, just cause Newmann is just great etc. I didn’t know one word—he not having my name, loved me. Lab was a peach—why astonished was I Huh!!! when Newmann came to me + said [“]Miss Hartung—how are you getting along?[“] and proceeded to help me more than my share. Why he was one dear—just too grand for nothing—why even said my “agar” was fine when he had concocted it. Ha! Ha! He fixed all my test tubes + did about 5 a minute while I did one. He convinced me against using a glass tube in plugging + showed me with such pains how to do it—again he is a dear + the best looker I ever saw in my life. Just that faint color when he talks to you—+ such a gentleman…and just too nice. He just did more for me than I can tell about. Wonder if it’ll happen again. I pray that my presence was not one that will cause him to leave me alone now. Well let’s see.”

Mar. 10: “I saw surely my old self again for today I worked from 8 until 6. Mr. Morgan was back again, slightly limping. Mr. Newmann lecture[d] to us at 9 on cultures. Such a bundle of animation—why, ones mind cannot reside but I must go ever with that wonderful personality. Again he is our man in laboratory. He gives us instructings [sic.] as to making of cultures but my mind is so dull in a scientific way that I can’t grasp it until I just ponder—It was almost 11—I had my whole outfit in readiness but I got saturated with the points of procedure methods it was dinner time. Mr. Newmann + I were much interested in social work. He saw my phamphlet [pamphlet] [on the] conservation of Nat. Vitality on my desk so he asked me if I were taking Social Problems—He is spending much time in reading—on Christianity , Buddhism, Moh. Etc.—how interesting. He had taken a course in Prof. James’ course 14 years ago—I unconsciously surprisingly flattered him, by saying “14 years ago—impossible!!!![“] He laughed, for really he is just awfully young too—so was my doctor. He took down the name of my phamplet [sic.] + Ross’s “Changing America” to read. May that former phamplet [sic.] prove to be reading that will appeal to him—for in such a magnetic manly man it will be digested only to [be] absorbed + cultivated so as to make it applicable toward the social good + betterment.”

An undated photo of Mata as a young woman, c. 1910-1915

But, then something went wrong, triggering a very dramatic Mata to spill her heart out onto the pages of her diary, and coming to a broader conclusion about herself in the process:

Mar. 17: “Why even today Mr. N. never even smiled say nothing about that—why never even noticed me—just completely ignored my presence. And to think that Mr. N. was so good to me at first—Oh! why is he there—why do I like him—yes—just why? He doesn’t or never will think of or speak to me now again—and it may be best—I guess there is a reason as to why I’m always domed [doomed] to disappointments—And here my father revealed his poor business way of treating me. Never openly—always in that half way—Nothing substantial—no confidential treatment. Enuf—I can’t write this—those feelings I’ll never forget—Joy—future promise of having a “good time” once in my life—gone—In the future I may or may not plan again. Hereafter my must get frankness, openess [sic.]—and I myself must talk less—Measure your words—and think more. You feel like a mummy doin’ it but I guess part of it is all right.”

The next day’s entry is a very enlightening one with a lot of important information. Not only do we learn about another crush she had the year before, but we can also see her transition from one crush to another. Her feelings for Newman quickly dissipated after a brief 2-week infatuation. And this also comes with a twist:

Mar. 18: “Met Holohan on the hill this noon + walked a[s] far as College Bk. Store. On my way back whom do you suppose I met—well some one I like pretty well—I’ve gone back on N. (This is a countryfied [sic.] dutchy expression but nevertheless a good appropriate one[)] It was Dr. Middleton—I haven’t written that good sounding title for quite a while—He looked up at me in the usual same way—and greeted me with his ‘How do you do’—and that smile that isn’t there then just before he speaks appears—He seems to look older and just a tiny, tiny bit fleshier in his face. I guess it only appeared so—Dear I wish I were a friend of his… Mr. N. will be to me no more and I am not missing my guess. It’ll be an unbounded surprise if he ever speaks to me again. Oh! poison is ‘worry to the conscience.’ I must not take to heart those who care absolutely nothing for me. Yes last yr. it was MacDonald—well—he was nice—but really now I couldn’t like him as I did then cause of these others and so it will be again in later years.”

Another undated photo of Mata as a young woman, taken on the same day as the previous
photo, c. 1910-1915

If you read the previous article, you’ll know all about how Mata underwent a stomach pump with no anesthetic to treat a lump in her stomach and her subsequent recovery. The doctor who performed the procedure was none other than the same Dr. Middleton she mentioned in the last entry. Her crush on Dr. Middleton seemed to be more serious and there doesn’t seem to be a falling-out like there was with Newman. Now, let’s track some of her mentions of Dr. Middleton:

Apr. 4: “Saw Dr. M. from a distance too bad I didn’t meet him—Gee! I like the man”

Apr. 11: “Met. Dr. M. but he at least I think so, didn’t see me—He was with a man + some saucy looking girl. Gee, whiz!!!!”

Apr. 22: “On our way to supper who should be waiting for the car but Dr. M. + another man—I know he saw me coming for he watched me and I immediately recognized him. Just crossing to the mail box where he stood. Gy. swiped my hat + I in the cold window. Apparently it had amused Doc, for he had that smile enlarged when I came up to him + How—do—you do—as usual was exchanged—I looked back when I went into house + he + the other were watching us until we entered the house. And how we did run down the street. So after 2 P.M. was worth the space.”

Apr. 23: “oh! I don’t see why I ever up my ideal I’ve taken it all back Dr. M. is the only one after all worthwhile”

May 25: Must get a report from Dr. Middleton verifying my health etc. Just delighted to see him? but wonder how he will act. Let’s not consider this until I see him though.”

May 29: “While there I phone to Dr. M. I go home bathe + at 4:10 go + make my appointment there. When he came in—he said—as usual [‘]How do you do? Well what is the trouble Miss Hartung?[‘] I explained the situation to him—just as it was frankly. He wrote to Tressler + handed me the note sealed. Yes, there he stood—ok! why can I see in that man what I like—why. could psy—answers that. 10 of him to one J.X. I only wish I wouldn’t have that feeling—[Aside:] [(]Ask me how I got along on my work—How my health was[)] for I know well enuf that it is pure love and affection for that man. He has no interest in me only as a medical advisor bears to a student—why should he. Why couldn’t it be otherwise—that’s were [where] miracle applies—But may a day come when he shall come + I come—or else goes in to oblivion”

This quickly changed, however, when Mata realized that all of the feelings, all of the signals she thought she might have been picking up on, were all in her head. About a week later, on, she wrote:

June 5: “There are a few whom I should wished to have been intimate contact with—yes but very few for example Dr. M. + that red checked, tall[,] dark man, handsome only does him part justice. He, I could have loved—+ more too. He was only another of my idyllic personages who slip into oblivion. I think about them—but not they. I wish I could have spoken to him again. when placed beside J.X. he falls into space, unthought of. Once he was just O.K. I hardly see why that man took such hold of me. I see nothing now. Why? because his interest in me existed only in my thought. I was nothing I his idea. Never a part of it. Badger out.”

While this probably should have been the end of it, Mata couldn’t quite make her feelings for him go away. It didn’t help that she was graduating from the University of Wisconsin and would likely have to move away to find a job. A few months later, she wrote a brief note about Dr. Middleton

October 9: “A drop in at Dr. Soik’s office. And strange to say that prefix doctor makes me think Dr. M. so hard. Wonder if he ever remembers his odd patient.”

A little over a month later, her old feelings cropped up again, seeming a bit stronger this time:

November 17: “All evening Dr. M. haunted my mind. Does he ever ever think of me?”

Mata continued to briefly mention Dr. Middleton once in a while into 1915. I had known of her crush on him for years now ever since I had first transcribed her diaries. However, it was only during the course of writing this article that I made an incredible discovery. In the last entry of her 1914 diary, she wrote:

Dec. 31: “Last night I dreamed of Dr. M. Today I pick up the Jan. 1915 Outlook mag. + there is an article by Dr. Wm S. Middleton, Medical Advisor so he has that which he rightly deserves, that man whom I hold as one of my fellow men for whom I would do all and everything. That young doctor and his brilliant mind have brought him to a responsible place. Yes he is there—back in the Wis. U. Each day I see him ready to see the many who need medical advice. He always was just as capable of meeting one at 5 as at 1. May his be a success—and if only I—Well, that is something I must forbear. Perhaps if he knew—and you know there may be a ‘someday.’ That mag. I must buy. It contains that article of vital interest to me.”

Only in that entry did she write his first name, and, as a bonus, a middle initial. I searched the web for that magazine article, but came up empty. I believed the magazine in question to be “The Outlook,” but it had weekly issues instead of monthly and there was no mention of any Dr. Middleton. While I have still not found the magazine in question, I found out just who this Dr. William Shainline Middleton was. He was kind of a big deal, and he’s famous enough to have a Wikipedia page. If there was any doubt about Dr. M. being the same as Dr. William Shainline Middleton, it disappeared when I read that he worked as clinical instructor of medicine at the University of Wisconsin at the same time, specialized in internal medicine, and even came up with a novel way of examining a patient’s spleen called “Middleton’s Maneuver.” Dr. Middleton not only served overseas as a medical officer in WWI, he was also an important figure in the medical care of American soldier on the European front in WWII and was involved in veterans’ medical care for decades. Two big facilities in Madison, Wisconsin bear his name: the William S. Middleton Memorial Veterans Administration Hospital and the William S. Middleton Health Sciences Library at the University of Wisconsin. But Mata knew him when he was only a 24-year old doctor at the university.

Although it’s not a completely clear photo of his face, this 1918 photo of Dr.
Middleton gives a hint as to how Mata developed a crush on him, especially
considering how nice he was to her

And with that, two crushes in one year came and went. When we next see Mata, she will be a college graduate in the all-too-familiar rut of being stuck at home and not being able to find a job.

My Great-Grandmother In College #1: The Stomach Pump

After a few years teaching in the small town of Dunbar, Wisconsin, Mata took a big step to possibly improve herself and give her better opportunities in the future: she went to college. She had saved up her money from the Dunbar teaching job and put it toward higher education, and it seems to have been a premeditated plan to some degree, but how long she had this plan is unknown. She received a Bachelor’s Degree after 2 years of study, starting in the latter half of 1912 and officially graduating on June 17, 1914, just before the outbreak of war in Europe. According to her later autobiographical essay, she was the first woman from Two Rivers to graduate from the University of Wisconsin.

The station in Madison, Wisconsin that Mata arrived at when she came to study at the University of Wisconsin, c. 1912.

“Dear Uncle Ed: I came into this depot at Madison. School is O.K. here. There are over 5,000 here taking studies. The capitol is a fine building. Mata.”

In 1914, Mata kept a more detailed diary than the 1912 one. Instead of using an actual diary with pre-typed entry spaces, she used a lined notebook, allowing her to spill out her thoughts more freely onto the page, leaving us with much more interesting information and stories. Because of this, I will write multiple articles about this time in her life that focus on one theme at a time, relying heavily on these enlightening diary entries. One of the most memorable (and traumatic) episodes from this year was about a medical issue with her stomach. The actual cause is never stated, but she was suffering from a persistent stomach pain for a long period of time. She mentions something about a lump, but that’s about the only hint that might be useful to diagnose it now. To try and solve this medical issue, she went to a doctor named Middleton.

All of this began in December 1913, though Mata’s diary from that year has not survived. Fortunately, she recalled the experience in detail a year later, including the possible cause of the lump:

Dec. 11: “A few days before (5) at 8 A.M. I ate self raising pancakes at Pickfords. Result: a heavy leaden lump lays in my abdomen or stomach rather for days. Each day I put off going to the clinical office but matters grow worse, no food is eaten, and I am physically unable to study. I muster courage [to] go to office about 4 + ask for Dr. M. My heart pounded ferociously, and I’m sick all over. After the usual long wait my name is called, and I enter Room 3 with misgiving. The doctor enters: Greets me in a friendly professional way, How do you do, Miss H. Astounded, he seen me since last spring 1913—yet he knows my name—That was satisfaction. He asked me, what is the trouble—after a real informed preliminary chat, saying he expected to see me in here soon, for I had never fully recovered, in his opinion, [since] last spring’s attack. He told me that I had done myself a permanent injury by remaining at school. I told him I felt fine all summer, walked[,] swam etc. And then thanked him for his catarrh remedy, explained that I had never been troubled since last spring. Then we proceeded to present sit[uation]. He had me explain what happened, laughing all the while—+ so was I. Really the whole thing surprised me more than aught else, his informality, + really gladness upon seeing me, + hearing about my lump. It amused him muchly. He prescribed medicine to release bowels + I was to report if their [sic.] was no improvement.”

Dec. 18: “A year ago I had my consultation with my doctor concerning my stomach –If there was no improvement on Fri. he would resort to extreme, the stomach pump. I said I guess the sug[gestion] of that will cure it. On Wed. I came + was no better. Ugh! I was feeling terrible! He looked discouraged. I said, don’t you think I’ll get well soon. He explained just what happened to my stomach. Irritation of nerves—A second stomach. Told him I never heard of one. Theoretically yes, practically no. Well after some more clinic, which I forgot—he’s always say[ing], do you understand?—he said I must be examined. He walked toward door and I protested and in vain, he walks out saying, I’ll get the nurse to get you ready. Oh! the feeling I experienced was worse than I can ever tell. She came in, asked me my troubles and then I had to disrobe yes entirely. Then I had to climb onto that awful hospital bed—+ pillowed up and covered with folded sheets and my stomach bare. She said, I’ll call Dr. M. I said oh! I can’t ever live through this. I don’t want it. She said Dr. M. doesn’t mind this one bit—he thinks nothing of it. She rapped on door of Room III [3]+ he came. About 15 mins. he pressed his fingers into my abdomen—but tenderly + prof[essionally] asking each time [‘]do you feel any pain, Miss H.[?’] I said no, but nauseating + the lump was rising. I was dressed, nurse assists + again summons the dr. Then we have a long discussion—about previous times etc. and med. is prescribed + I light for home. Now Fri. I felt O.K. It was merely the thought “pump” that drove all away. I came there ready for it—but seeing I felt better he said that he wouldn’t do anything. He asked what I had eaten etc. Then when I got home—gee whiz—there the lump was back—and as ever I am, I was sorry I had said my lump was gone.”

From there, we can track the developments of this episode as they happened in early 1914. Here is an excerpt from January 13:

“He was just as nice as could be but I wasn’t. I was feeling nauseated just then and sort of on outs. Upper stomach question of Dr. M’s I replied saucily, that I had studied physiology but never knew we had stomachs. “Theoretically yes, practically no.[“] Sunday we’ll have it’s worse for me. A test meal—toast and a glass of water at 10. At 10:30 we’ll find me at the clinical office undergoing a severe + most extreme test—the operation will be performed without an anesthetic—a test meal pumped out by the abhorrent stomach pump.”

Mata was already not thrilled at the idea of undergoing a stomach pump procedure without anesthetic. And as the day of the procedure got closer and closer, she became depressed. This kind of depression would crop up many times throughout the following years. In another entry from only a few days later (January 16), Mata expressed her feelings:

“Ate no breakfast. No appetite at noon to speak of—just simply ate as a matter of form. Dr. M. calls this my starvation period… I must try and not give Mrs. S. any more of my sick dope unless she questions. A request to put water on for my hair meant unfavorable silence. That was well understood. Such an attitude makes me have the “blues.” Again “keep silent on the sick question.” I may go to convocation after resting. Regular additional ailment came today. Lump still continues in its usual form. As I remember rightly Dr. M. tried to avoid that word the other day—it was “heaviness sensation something there” instead. Just stayed in bed all afternoon.”

Two days later (January 18) came the day of the dreaded stomach pump. Mata reserved some of her more dramatic prose for this entry:

“It came and with it a 2 inch snowfall and my day for the ‘stomach pump.’ At 10 I ate toast 2 slices and drank a glass of milk. At 10:35 I appeared at the medical office. Such a hospital like appearance in Dr. M’s office, sheet, nurse, pump and all. Just that moment before all was to proceed!! Nurse assured me that Dr. M. had the experience many times of having the pump used on him.

            I said I can never stand this—He—Well thousands have! I—yes that’s not much consolation.

            Proceeded to take—the sensation cannot be described. It is for another to try themselves. About 10 minutes of torture.

            Dr. M. [‘]It wasn’t bad. I was surprised you took it that way.[‘]

            I—’Why I just had to take it, but if I were to die if the pump would save my life—I’d rather die.’

            Then we discussed matters pro + con about my stomach—but he has come to conclusions that it is a physic[al] condition not an organic disorder. We never can quite agree but I suppose he knows Enuf [sic]…Dr. M. advised me to eat a “big meal”—and all I wanted. I tried to!!!—Call to see him on Tues. again. Oh! I wish I’d have some diversion. This monotonous routine is too much. I agree that Dr. M’s “stay in” idea is quite a correct judgement in regard to my status. But it’ll never be otherwise here. Will it???”

About a week later (January 24), she went back to Dr. Middleton for a follow-up:

“Went over to Doc at 12:35. It was so strange, Dr. M. at desk. In about 3 min. he comes to waiting room and calls personally, ‘Miss Hartung, come to my room now.’ I hoped to report favorably but as it was I couldn’t. It is the same old story. I guess he was disappointed and so was I. He wonders how much I had lost in weight. We had a long consultation he and I. It was so good to talk it over with him. But he has won his point, I am going home one week from Fri. noon. Joy!!!! ‘to recuperate,’ as he put it. Maybe I am putting too much faith in him. Hardly, I can’t help it. I like him as I confessed to my friend. I am excused from one exam, he will write to dean + Whitbeck about it. I expect to remain home for 2 weeks perhaps more. Then when I return may it proves so that my report to him will be favorable by all means and that he will be cordial + welcome me when I return.”

Then, some progress from January 28:

“My stomach was normal from this A.M. when I forced myself to vomit but nothing came—so to counteract the fruit cake + brown cookie I just ate 2 big green apples scraped. It seemed to work wonders, and my stomach ball has almost disappeared. Tonight I ate a good supper, and now I noticed its return. It depends on the amount and kind of food that I eat. Hot water seems beneficial too. Prof. Voss looked at my excuse + wanted to know what the trouble was. I just had to tell him about it.”

Her stomach felt fine throughout February and had a bit of a relapse in March. She occasionally mentioned it for the next few months, but nothing too interesting aside from an occasional unpleasant flashback to that “abhorrent stomach pump.”

My Great-Grandmother’s First Teaching Job

Mata (bottom right) at her first teaching job in Dunbar, Wisconsin, c. 1910

Mata, now graduated from Oshkosh Normal School and a licensed teacher, took up her first teaching post in a very town town in Wisconsin called Dunbar, whose population is only around 600 today and would probably have been smaller 110 years ago, as evidenced by the class size in the above photograph. For this job, Mata was paid $60 a month, which would have been around $1,700 today.

While it was a job with a monthly income, Mata was as yet unexperienced, far away from home, and living in a “tiny 1/2 deserted lumber town” as she later described it. She taught in Dunbar for about 3 years or so, though there is little surviving material aside from a handful of photographs from this time in her life and very short diary entries. But she wrote a single line in a later autobiographical essay that summarized her feelings towards the town: “This tiny town had no promise unless I wanted to stay there forever.”

Another photo showing Mata (top left) with her students in Dunbar, Wisconsin, c. 1911

A view of Mata (far left) in a classroom in the Dunbar school, along with three other teachers, c. 1911

A lineup of teachers at the Dunbar school, c. 1911

In 1912, while Mata was still in Dunbar, she kept a diary, and this is the earliest of Mata’s diaries that has survived. It is less interesting than some of her later diaries due to the entry spaces being very small, allowing space for only two or three sentences. But we can get a glimpse into the kind of activities she did in Dunbar like dances and basketball, though with no detail. Most interestingly is the first glimpse into her love life. Mata was, after all, 24 years old in 1912, an age when most people, then and now, long to be loved. One of her acquaintances in the town was a man named Vernon H., sometimes known in her diary by his initials, “V.M.H.” (last name unknown), a man whom she fell madly in love with over the course of a few months. Here is a summary of their relationship using excerpts from the diary:

Jan. 31: “Coasting—a splendid time. V.M.H. accompanies me home. He asks me to attend dance. Talked also with him at 4:30 P.M.”

Feb. 2: “Remained after school until 5 and talked over dance + place of meeting with V.M.H. Calls at hotel at 9:30—Dressed as farmers. Had one splendid time. 8 dances with Vernon…”

Feb. 5: “Coasting. Badly bruised. Vernon takes me home. Went up with Jennie. Vernon has secret but refuses to tell (concerning dance of Fri.)”

Feb. 7: “Vernon receives scolding. It is unjust. He becomes angry.”

Feb. 17: “…Vernon does not dance until after supper when Mr. O. + I bet on his not dancing. It is settled by E.F.O. + he dances 3x with me + also in beggar’s circular.”

Feb. 19: “Write + give note to Vernon asking him for to forget. He promises…”

Feb. 20: “Vernon + I talk until 5:15. Discuss dance + bet I made at public dance…”

Feb. 29: “School as well as usual. Long talk with Vernon at school. Invites me to private dance.”

Mar. 1: “…Vernon + I talk over dance + dreams. Calls for me at 9:15 + go to Gorman’s for girls + H. Chandler. Grand time. Vernon and I talk until 2:45—Kisses me. Calls me ‘dear’ at house…”

Mar. 3: “Go to church—Attend party at K.O.T.M. hall. Grand time. V.M.H. + I go to show + he kisses me…”

Mar. 11: “Have talk with Vernon at school. Find that he wishes note. Takes candy + note.”

Mar. 19: “Receive long note from Vernon…”

Mar. 26: “Eat supper with V.M.H. He takes me home. A long talk. I explain that I can’t go with him. Kisses me.”

Apr. 18: “Write + received note from V. he actually loves me + I truly love him.”

May 6: “Meet V.M.H. at 9:00 after church. He tells me that he loves me when leaving at  11:00 P.M. Kisses me many times…”

May 7: “…V. seems angry at me…”

May 8: “V.M.H. speaks very cooly. Has heard an ill report. I write him a note…”

May 16: “Talk with V.M.H. He is not angry…”

May 22: “Get a note from V.M.H. at noon in regard to coming. I walk home with him from play. He comes here at 8:30. We walk from 9:30 to 11:00. One grand evening. Asks for kiss 1^st time. Otherwise he always did.”

May 24: “V. comes to meet me at 5:30 after school. Asks to take me to private dance. I have no permission to go. See him at dance. Asks me for four dances…”

Mata in 1912, the same year that she fell in love with a man named Vernon H.

Unfortunately, the May 24 entry is the last in the diary. But remarkably, Mata wrote about Vernon again four years later, revealing that the end of their relationship had been a bit traumatic for her, and perhaps reveals why she stopped writing in her diary in late-May 1912. On January 31, 1916, she wrote: “A letter from V.M.H. The first word from him since June 1912. That June when I longed for death—rather than leave him. June will always have memories for me…V. was impossible altho he loved me.”

This surprise letter opened up their correspondence again, even leading to in-person meetings again. And, even four years later, Mata still had feelings for him in another revealing entry from April 27, 1916: “Grandest letter from V.M.H. I just love his interesting letters so, so much. Just to have him write me will always satisfy me—for that is all it can ever, ever be. He is the one so it is small wonder that I can’t find another ever, ever.” But this is the last we ever hear of Vernon from the surviving documents.

A view of 1st Avenue in Dunbar, c.1910-1912, a town that Mata described as a “tiny 1/2 deserted lumber town”

Another view of Dunbar, c.1910-1912

To close this entry, I want to share an amusing little inside joke from my family related to all of this. Years ago, when I first found out that my grandmother still had Mata’s diaries, a teenage me was looking through the 1912 diary when I stumbled upon this short entry from March 12 of that year: “Mrs. Peterson calls about Milton whom I slapped.” Imagining my great-grandmother slapping someone (who I assumed was one of her students) was funny enough, but then there was another entry from May 17 that read: “…Frances + I watch practice game on field. Milton is hit with ball.” From then on, this boy became the embodiment of unluckiness and, nearly 100 years after the infamous slap, became an inside joke among my family. Poor, poor Milton…